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MayThe beginning of the rest of my life.
Precisely one week ago, I (finally) graduated Cosmetology school. While I’m incredibly thankful and happy and excited that I’m finally done, I’m also a little bit sad, and unbelievably nervous for whatever is happening next. Of course, I’ll take my State licensing test and become a licensed Cosmetologist (woo!!). But it’s what’s after that is what in nervous for.
My skill isn’t terrible (I don’t want to come across as cocky, but I think I’m pretty good at this, considering I’m hot off the press). But don’t get me wrong, I’m terrified to get a job in the industry. To be top-of-the-line, it’s a little too cutthroat for this porcelain doll.
When I was first getting started with this, I was all for making a huge glorious name for myself, but the further along I came, the more that didn’t really appeal to me. The first 4 months of beauty school (we called it workshop…the “kindergarten of beauty school”) my educator talked about how this particular industry is BOOMING in Australia. And I made up my mind then and there that I’d try to go there for however long I could to do hair. That was my goal post beauty school. But, as I said, things change.
So here I am, graduated, and studying for my cosmetology State Boards, and I have absolutely no clue what will come to me once I’m licensed.
This being said, about a month or two ago, I came to this conclusion: God has never once let me down.
When I made up my mind that I wanted to go to Kansas City to do the internship with the International House of Prayer (IHOP-KC), and had it in my spirit that if God wanted me to go, He’d provide the means. Well, He did (that’s a whole different story). What I’m really trying to get at is this. I’d dreamed of going to beauty school since I was 15 or 16. I just graduated beauty school. The question reverberating in my brain is ‘now what?’. And I’m having one heck of a time believing that God has my best interests in mind. When people as me what my plans are, it’s hard when I know most people don’t believe the way I do when I say I’m waiting for God to tell me. I know that I’ve done my part (going to school and such). And I feel at ease in my spirit that it’s just another season of waiting on Him. I’m both nervous and excited to see what happens next :) God’s not let me down yet ;)
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MayThe Wedding
Yesterday, I was privileged to be a part of a very dear friends wedding. I was able to style all the girl’s hair, and did their makeup, and helped with a few other things. While that was all sorts of fun, and we got to all be pretty and girly, the ceremony is what blessed me the most.
It was a fairly traditional wedding. Her father gave her away, and the groom and the bride exchanged their vows. The groom cried, and the bride could hardly speek. They took communion, and exchanged rings. And it was during all of this, that all I could see was Christ and us as humanity. God, the father, has been planning this huge wedding, since the dawn of time, and he’s been aching to give is away to his Son. And while my bride friend stood o the stage, and took her grooms last name, I couldn’t help but cry my eyes out.
Weddings are such a reflection of the very thing we were created for. We’re the bride, Jesus, the bridegroom, and Jesus is just as excited as any blushing bride.
I’ve always been a what I like to call a “hopeful romantic”. I don’t believe in calling it hopeless romanticism, because I’m not hopeless. I know my destiny….to be the bride of Christ… And of that doesn’t excite you…I don’t know what will
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JanI Don’t Believe in New Year Resolutions
I believe in changing the way you live. Whether its something as simple as wanting to drink more water, or do change things drastically. The thing about new year resolutions, 90% of the time, they always fail. The biggest one? Loosing weight. I don’t want to just make a new year resolution. I want to finally be able to look back at this portion of my life and say that I did it; that I made the change I needed to make.
I started this last year, and only did it from about November to about April/May-ish…pretty good…but I still stopped. And I’m mad at myself for stopping. I plan to be healthier, and be a healthier weight by May. I have 4 months, and about 2 weeks till I graduate from cosmetology school, and I want to feel better about myself as I get closer to being done. I plan on seeing myself change and be better and feel better. This time, I won’t even let myself stand in the way.
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AugReality Check Time.
[Woman on right is 250lbs. Woman on left is 120lbs.]
I made a goal back in January that I’d never want to see my highest weight (which back then was almost 300lbs) on a scale ever again. I just stepped on the scale, and my weigh is 299.4. It kind of ripped my heart out. Mainly because I know I have not been doing everything I know that I’ve been needing to. And I know that I could make a million excuses, but all they’d be are excuses. I know I need to get back on the bandwagon and get this crap done. I *NEED* to get healthy. I made a promise to myself in January that “2012 would be the last fat year of my life” and I intend to stick to that promise. I’ll do what it takes.
I absolutely need to quite eating sweets and fast food. It’s all too easy in my crazy busy work-school-sleep, work-school-sleep (etc) schedule to just grab a burger or something between places. Or to eat a leftover pastry from work during my break. When I had started in Jan., I completely cut fast food and soda out of my diet, and just that alone made me feel like a million bucks. I lost about 10lbs from that alone.
I know that I’m capable of doing this, because I did so well up until a couple months ago. That’s why I started this blog, was so that I would have people stand behind me and cheer me on. I need to do this for me. I absolutely cannot keep living my life as a “plus size girl.” I’m 21, and I weigh 300lbs. NOT OKAY, ELAINE! You need to get your butt in gear and work off that butt of yours!!!! THIS is not about getting “skinny,” it’s about getting FIT and Healthy, and STAYING FIT AND HEALTHY!! You know you can do this, Elaine. No Excuses this time. Just get off your butt and move it.
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May
Note that it says nothing about weight or body size! Positive attitude and focusing on health; that’s all you need.
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MayBack on the Bandwagon
I fell off the wagon, and woke up today feeling like I had to get on and stay on it this time around. Not only for myself, but to prove to the world that I’m not a quitter. That I can and I will. And that there isn’t anything, or anyone in this world that I will allow to stand in my way. I’m doing this for real this time. And for those of you reading this right now, I would super love some comments with some of the simple things you’ve done or are doing in your own weightloss/getting fit journey.
I have colorful index cards cut into different shapes and sizes with positive words on them taped around my mirror, and am looking to do more. I have statements such as, “I will not give up.” and “Because I AM worth it,” and “Because I know my potential is Unstoppable.” I’m looking for some more statements….so please share!!!
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AprForgiven much :: Loved Much
In the recent months, I’ve been given an opportunity to grow either extraordinarily bitter towards someone. It’s a rather lengthy story that I’d rather not go into great detail with, but to give you the short end of the long, this person (Person A) got caught in a web of lies, and going behind backs. This person took matters into his own hands, and injured (both physically and emotionally) a couple people. Myself being one of them. The other person involved in this situation (Person B) confronted me as to why I’m still in contact with person A. I told them this:
Because he needs someone that’s gonna forgive him. Everyone knows that what he did was wrong, but now comes this cool thing called forgiveness. No one deserves it, but everyone should experience it for themselves to fully understand how monumental it feels. I have an ugly past, and I’ve been forgiven, and I can guarantee that if someone like me has been, then he can too. That’s why.
I don’t mean to be preachy, but its just how I am. I care about people. I enjoy reconciliation more than anyone I know. I forgive so I can move on. He apologized to me, and I forgave him because that’s the right thing to do. It doesn’t mean that what he did was right.Person B then went on to list all of these things that Person A had done to them, and trying to convince me that what I’m in the process of doing is wrong. And accused me of things that weren’t even in my prospective sights. It did set me off a little, but waited to respond. This is what I said after Person B’s accusations:
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MarPlateau
Well, I haven’t really lost anymore weight, but at least I’ve maintained my weight loss. I’ve plateaued around 280 for the whole month of February. Its a little bit of a bummer, no lie. At least I haven’t gained any, right? Let’s aim for 270 for the end of this month :D
